Glazier Fancy

Sometimes, on very rare occasions, I grow terribly bored of being rich. For about a minute.

Then I remember that I’m rich, and thus the problem of being bored with my vast wealth is just something else I can remove with money.

Undercover Boss! It’s that delightfully droll television program on in the middle of the day, wherein someone with plenty of money goes and investigates the goings on of people who do not have money. A good time is had by all, and valuable lessons are learned, like why it’s good to always have a lot of money. 

I’ve had my eye on the entire glass stair balustrade industry for quite a while now. Not just part of it; the entire thing. I like the idea of owning it, same as one might have the idea of owning a slice of cake, and then eating it, except in this case it’s a massive industry of glaziers and glass repair professionals. Yes, I saw that high-class cat on the internet playing with the balustrades and such, and I knew at that moment that I had to own everything. Balustrades are truly the way of the future.

I have to get in fast, because I know Carlita Conchita Benita Paprika will be vying for the same thing as me. I pay people to hack into her search and watch history, she pays people to hack into mine, it’s a fun little game we play to pass the time, and also because we hate each other. She’ll know that glaziers have taken my fancy, and is probably organising non-hostile takeover efforts, just as I am. Oh, but she’s such a gaudy, silly little thing… she’d run the glass industry into the ground with her flights of fancy. 

Here in Melbourne, residential glaziers need someone with business acumen to lead them, like myself! I’d never do anything spur of the moment and fanciful!

Now, where’s my checkbook? I need to buy out several hundred businesses because of an idea I thought of a minute ago. 

-Pondelia Whimsy