I’m writing another letter to my son. I felt really good last time after writing my last one. I know that he never got to see the letter because I never sent it, but being able to get my feelings out made me feel very relieved. I never talk about you with anyone. I think people are scared to mention you. It’s hard. It’s really hard. Anyway, here it goes. I need to feel the relief I felt not too long ago.
How are you going? Are you happy? Are you eating your veggies like the lovely nurses are telling you to? Have you made any friends? Do you have a best friend? Do you have a love interest? I have so many questions for you. I could keep going but I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you. I know how too much conversation can stress you out. Do the positive behaviour support workers ask you lots of questions? Do they know much about you? I hope so.
When I think about you I get really sad. I’m sad that you’re not here with me anymore. I know that you’re not far away, but our lives are just so different now. I am so glad that you’re getting the care you need. Knowing that you are in the best possible hands and that you’re at the highest-rated positive behaviour support facility in Adelaide means the world to me. Life isn’t easy but I hope by being there your life is made a little easier. Knowing you have the right support system makes my life easier too. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be that support system for you.
I just need to take a deep breath and suck it up. I’m not feeling good about the whole situation. Every day my heart feels hollow, as if something in my life is wrong. I wish you were here with me.