Sticking together is what good families do. That’s why I think it’s destiny that all of us are now in the same house, because this way we can be together every single day, and we can come together for breakfast every single day, and we can share all of our problems every single day. Sometimes, if people develop problems in the middle of the day, we could even share those on a more-than-daily basis! There would be no stopping us.
It’s such a big house, though, so even here I’m worried about us drifting apart. Uncle Joseph had so many buyers advocate connections; maybe we could look them up and see if they can’t find us a house a little bit closer into the city, one a bit smaller so we’re closer. As a FAMILY. See, we could sell this house, and it’ll fetch a nice price because it’s so big, and then move into another big house that’s a bit cosier. We’ll still need a communal eating area, and a communal lounge that’s entirely dedicated to the airing of grievances, emotional trauma and work issues. I do believe it’s best to have a dedicated space for this kind of thing; otherwise you end up polluting the rest of the house with some negative emotional energy. I’m not really a spiritual juju person overall, but sometimes you just have to be aware of how places are filled with negativity, because they’ve been used in the wrong context and they’re forever polluted.
So, now that I’ve discussed it with myself and come up with a single idea, it’s time to tell the rest of the family the big plan: we’ll find a buyers advocate local to Melbourne, get them to find us all a new home, and then we’ll be the most united family ever – even more so than that group of acrobats who arranged themselves into a star shape while riding their motorcycles. We’re going to make THEM look like a bunch of posers.