You know, the internet isn’t such a bad place to live. I’d prefer it if it wasn’t my home, because as weird as the real world gets, it’s about a thousand times worse in here…but I’m making it work. I surf along the information superhighway, absorbing exabytes of data, hoping my brain doesn’t explode, but it seems to be ticking over just fine. Fascinating thing, the human brain…more powerful than any memory card humans can create.
You pick up little tidbits of info from the real world, as well. I’ve been focusing on Melbourne recently, and there’s a mound of people getting in glass repair. Melbourne doesn’t sit on any earthquake fault lines, so I did think that was pretty strange until I saw that there was a Honey Tiger concert currently playing at the Melbourne Amphitheatre. And then it all made sense.
The only mystery now is how Honey Tiger fans retain any of their hearing after going to one of his concerts, because that guy won’t accept anything but the highest volume, and there are frequent complaints from people who’ve had their windows cracked or smashed.
Because I really do have nothing better to do at the moment, I accessed the data on complaints and the follow-up, and there’s really not much they can do besides asking him to turn the music down. See, it’s not actually above regulation levels, especially for a concert hall or public event…it’s just that the frequency of a lot of Honey Tiger songs has been known to have an adverse effect on glass. He apparently has a rare quirk of the vocal cords that allows him to produce two pitches at once, one much more subtle, and that combination has that unique effect. That’s why there was that ‘Honey Tiger Challenge’ craze on Me-Straw a few years ago when people played his song and tried to shatter various glass items.
So that’s the conclusion. Hide your stained glass, hide your glass balustrades, Melbourne…Honey Tiger is in town and he doesn’t care what he breaks.
All useful information. I just love being incorporeal data.
-NW