I can’t believe my plan failed! The world’s largest tornado never even came into being. How could I have predicted that all of my air conditioners would need servicing and repairs? Am I doomed to forever be known as the worst Prime Minister of all time? For once, I just wanted to do something that would be put in the history books and not be laughed at. Or even worse, removed from the course of history entirely. I want everyone to stop calling me Baloney, and refer to me as my real name: ex-Prime Minister Bruce Maloney! It would have been so, if not for the fact that I needed air conditioning repairs. Melbourne and Sydney’s MPs are laughing at me right now. Good old Baloney, can’t even get a crazy supervillain plot to work out. That’s right, isn’t it?
Even though I tried to cause a climate disaster, I’m immune to any form of punishment, thanks to the handy Free All the Convicts Act 1996 which I passed with my only day in office. This time, I’ll try something different, also covered by the various subsections of that act. I’m going to set the world record for most graffiti tags in a capital city. I can’t be punished for graffiti related crimes, so it shouldn’t be an issue. Now I just have to consider whether it’s worth getting an air conditioning service near Richmond, given that I spent several thousands of dollars on these air conditioners. Perhaps it would be best if I just moved on.
In case you’re curious, here are some of the other things I am immune to the legal ramifications of: aeroplane related felonies, internet pirating, parking fines, forging legal documents, riding a horse on a the freeway, dine and dashing and air heating vandalism. I can also get away with starting brawls on the street and throwing wild parties. So that’s pretty cool, I guess. Being Prime Minister for a day does have its perks.