Whimsical Mechanical Scares

Continuing what I was talking about before, I still have issues with this car thing. I, as a spooky skeleton, cannot be expected to learn about cars. I don’t even have proper eyes! The sockets do just fine.  I mean…I can see stuff, obviously, but no one conducting a driving test would ever think that I have the capacity to operate a motor vehicle. They’d take one look at me and go “AAAAAH, A SPOOKY ANIMATED SKELETON!. Also I’m going to have to fail you by default because you lack corneas, rods and many other parts of a human eye, and that makes you legally blind. But also, AAAAAH SO SPOOKY!”

You understand my problem. Maybe if I got my bony hands on some overalls, I could dress up like a mechanic, if the mechanics near Bentleigh didn’t consider that to be cultural appropriation. I could have all sorts of spooky, scary fun with the outfit of a mechanic. Just imagine me looking at a car, clutching a clipboard, all hunched over like a real mechanic. I could make whimsical jokes about how long I’ve been looking for the source of the engine trouble. I could place power tools inside my rib cage, for convenience. I could…I don’t know, maybe detach my arm and use it to reach really deep inside the engine. So many whimsical possibilities!

I don’t really see myself using their services, however. So the fact that we are being forced to do homework in which we must describe the best qualities of mechanics and auto repair specialists? Silly. Terribly silly. I would happily write an entire essay on how best to give mechanics a good scare, the spooky fun type of scare where you all have a good laugh afterwards. BOO! Ha ha ha. 

Not like this, though. I’m actually not sure what to make of Bentleigh’s auto electrical scene. Even the electricity that use to run through my living muscles has long since vanished.

-R. McSkulliam